- Changed the sentence beginning in, "If I had to give one criticism..."
- Gave more credit to Young
- Shifted some blame off Mejia
- Changed, "No proofing was done" to "wasn't proofed professionally"
- Other miscellaneous changes
The February 23, 2011 edition of the Clarion Newspaper comes across as mostly average. While there are some truly remarkable articles, each of them is matched by another written rather poorly.
On one hand, “Up the Per Unit Fee, Save the State,” an editorial by Jennifer Young on page 23, is written exceptionally well. She argued that we should favorably accept “Gov. Jerry Brown’s budget proposal for a $10 hike in the per unit fee for California public community college.”
Young does a good job explaining that community college students in California pay a lot less for units than those in surrounding states and that the money would help the state budget in the long run. The point is driven home by the illustration of the state unit fees accompanying the article.
On the other hand, a lackluster job was given in the page 9 article, “Grammys Bring New Era with Old Friends,” written by Israel Mejia. Grammatically incorrect phrases such as, “A tribute to Aretha Franklin was very nice done by Christina Aguilera” and sentence fragments like, “The outfits’ message being that of equality” give the impression that the column wasn’t proofread professionally.
There were also many instances where a little more creativity could have gone a long way. For example, on page 13, the three-part “Best of Instant Movie Rentals” compared Redbox, Netflix and Video On Demand. Rather than merely showing the companies’ logos, a chart could have been made to summarize the information in the article.
I particularly enjoyed the articles on the revolution in the Middle East and North Africa. Perhaps more world news could be covered by the Clarion in the future.
That being said, I give the newspaper a seven out of ten. It was alright, although there was plenty of room for improvement.
Version History: v1.24 (Feb 28 2011)
- Made essay tense more consistent overall
- Revised third paragraph, including quote and more details about Young's article
- Changed the sentence beginning with, "Rather than merely showing..."
- Expanded comment at the end about including more world news articles, giving a direct example from the Clarion.
- Lowered grade
- Other miscellaneous changes
The February 23, 2011 edition of the Clarion Newspaper came across as average. While there were some truly decent articles, each of them was matched by another written rather poorly.
For example, “Up the Per Unit Fee, Save the State,” an editorial by Jennifer Young on page 23, was written exceptionally well. She argued that we should favorably accept “Gov. Jerry Brown’s budget proposal for a $10 hike in the per unit fee for California public community college.”
Young did a really good job explaining that $10 more isn’t that large of an amount to pay for school units, especially when, “71% of the student population receive(s) some form of financial aid.” The point was driven home by an illustration of the state unit fees, showing that Californian students pay an average of $48 less than their neighbors in the surrounding states.
On the other hand, a lackluster job was given in the page 9 article, “Grammys Bring New Era with Old Friends,” written by Israel Mejia. Grammatically incorrect phrases such as, “A tribute to Aretha Franklin was very nice done by Christina Aguilera” and fragments like, “The outfits’ message being that of equality” gave the impression that the column wasn’t proofread professionally.
There were also many instances in other articles where a little extra creativity could have gone a long way. For example, on page 13, the three-part “Best of Instant Movie Rentals” compared Redbox, Netflix and Video On Demand. Rather than merely including images of the companies’ logos, a chart could have been made to contrast the corporations’ service prices, number of movie titles, and the like.
I particularly enjoyed the articles covering the Middle Eastern revolutions such as, “Middle East and North Africa in Uproar” on page 3, also by Jennifer Young. Perhaps more world news could be covered by the Clarion in the future.
That being said, I give the newspaper a six out of ten. It was alright, although there was plenty of room for improvement.
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